I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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