i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
