i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
