Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize