Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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