I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
wow bdsm is so cute
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
