So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
