You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize