i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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