Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Randomize
