Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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