so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Is it penis luge time yet?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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