She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I have post one night stand depression
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
