Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
