He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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