You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
