I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
