I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
