how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
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I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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