I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
