I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
