We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
