someone threw a dead crab at me
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
