if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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