when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
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When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
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I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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