this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
