im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize