I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
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