even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
