Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize