Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
