It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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