Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he shaved USA in his pubs
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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