8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
