don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize