yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
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karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
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And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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