Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
