Me. At least after what I've been through.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
