White coat. Heels.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
