My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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