You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
