That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
