she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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