Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
vagina is talking i cant
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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