Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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