But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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