Well douche your snatch and let's go!
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
