Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize