Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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