When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
