just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
