Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize