she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
