He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
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I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
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As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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