his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
