Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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