Where is the hickey?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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