Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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