yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
