Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
In America we eat man semen.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize