you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I lost the right to judge tonight
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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