i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
