Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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