Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
